Exciting Beginnings, Anxious Endings

It is that time of year again. Young people are gearing up to go back to school. Some are going to new schools. Some are returning to the same schools. Some are heading to high school, and some to college. It makes for a lot of change.

For the first time this year, our group is experiencing a lot of 'back to schoolness'. One young person has decided not to go back to school, and refocus his attention on other aspects of his life, which don't include us. We miss him. But respect his need for change. And wish him all the best.

Another one, whose life has always been a bit in flux, finally got the needed pieces together to start a new program, and will be commuting to and from that and home. His class schedule won't allow him to come to our meetings, but he is eager to stay involved online.

Two more young people are heading back to their schools for their 3rd and 4th years. They feel well-established and know what to expect, although both are in challenging programs that require lots of time and energy. Invariable, their attendance at our meetings will be scant, though their online involvement and planning are as reliable as the impending arrival of fall and winter.

And then there's X. X, this year, is embarking on a new life of sorts. He'll be entering a new school, a university that is a little drive away. He'll be living on campus, and be changing and figuring out how to negotiate all the changes that come with that.

But X is used to change. Just not this kind of change. X has had to move a number of times. He's had to change schools before. But he's always stayed within his comfort zone - that zone where he knew his support net was just minutes away. A support net that proved invaluable when he went through some huge changes a few years ago.

It was during that change that X and I really connected. He'd share his thoughts with me every week, during a time that we were guaranteed to be just the 2 of us. We'd talk, phillosophize, and I'd do all I could to support him however he needed it.

Last night, X sought out that one on one time. And from the moment it started, he began pondering how is life would be. And what kinds of changes this meant, including the fact that we wouldn't be able to see him every week. And how it would be.

The funny thing was, X had become such a constant in my work with the youth, that I began to feel those same nerves that he was talking about. He talked of adjusting to a new room-mate, I thought of having different people during our one on one time. He talked of having new responsibilities, I thought of how these changes would impact the leadership of the group. He talked of not being excited, but trying to just be, I thought of being anxious about just be-ing. I'm going to miss X. I'm excited for the new opportunities he's about to encounter. And I'm excited to hear about the new support net. And to tell him about the group, and how it is doing.

Growth and change are inevitable - finding youth who embrace it, and go for it brings a smile to my face. X knew to seek out the conversation, which tells me that he's ready for this change. And ready to take it on, even if he is slightly apprehensive

I'm so incredibly proud to be associated with these youth. Watching them grow up and out and over and above and beyond has been such a gift. But now that they're leaving the nest, I find myself anxious and sad, yet grateful for their willingness to involve me and the group in their growth.

I look at them with wonderment, and realize - I wish I could have been that poised and profound when I was in their shoes.