One thing I shouldn't do: Sweat the small stuff

Some days, I admit that I forget why I do this work. I get caught up in the day-to-day drama. The background work, advocacy and politics of working with youth (because unfortunately, there's ALWAYS a something to address). I don't mind being protective. I don't mind doing all I can to make sure that the youth are given every opportunity to succeed. I don't mind working hard. I don't mind doing more than what's expected of me. I don't mind doing everything I can to make sure my job is done well.
But sometimes, it gets a little discouraging. When you work towards something, and work hard, but people make decisions that impact the work you're doing, the details can take over. And I can get caught up in those details, instead of focusing on the big picture. I can forget that, in the end, it is the one-on-one with the youth that matters.
But it seems as though, when I forget that, a little birdie comes flying in my window to remind me.
I got one of those reminders this week. We were sitting down with youth individually, talking about what some of their concerns were, what they liked, and gave them an opportunity to give the advisors some direct feedback - both positive and negative.
These meetings have really been important to me in the past years. It gives the youth a chance to talk one-on-one. It is a way to take away the peer pressure and group-think that may happen on occasion. It has also provided us with a chance to address any problem behaviors. I have to say, this last item has rarely happened, but when it has, the youth have really responded to it well.
With these latest round of meetings, I got hit, head on, with how important this team is to the youth. L, one of the wonderful youth, was overcome with emotion as she talked about how important the group is to her. How it has provided her with opportunities that she didn't imagine she'd have. That she looks forward to seeing how she can "Pay It Forward' in the future. That L is empowered that she can influence other young people, and watching her own progression in the team and growth as a person has really inspired her. She wants to share the cheer.
Waterworks, anyone? Really. This is what I forget. That the youth get more out of the team than just the quantifiable outcomes. That the bigger picture includes giving youth a safe space to be themselves. That there's so much more than just having a successful project.
But mostly, it is just important to remember that I shouldn't sweat the small stuff. That I need to keep my eye on the prize. And that just when I think: my work here is done. It isn't. There's always more to do.
And if I ever forget it, I just need to give L a call. She'll put me in my place.

January is National Mentoring Month

President Obama declared January National Mentoring Month. I'm stoked, because I think this is a highly under-valued role that we, as adults, play in our young people's lives.
To me, mentoring is an important not only because of the effect it can have on young people, but also because of how much I learn.
Mentoring is a way to keep in touch with what is going on in our young people's lives - their lives are so different than ours were when we were their age. The challenges they face are different, and so are their accomplishments. To understand how to advocate for our young people, and to help them become the best adults they can, we have to know where they are coming from and where they want to go.
I think we, as adults, are often intimidated by the idea of mentoring. But the great thing is, it can be whatever it needs to be. Is it just a conversation in a car while you're driving to a sporting event? Is it sharing a cup of hot cocoa after shoveling some walks together? Is it chatting about a new issue, or book or something else? It means having a conversation that helps develop the thinking process of a young person, but it also means listening to them.
I consider being a mentor, or a positive adult role model, as my number one responsibility. Working with teens, that isn't hard. It is the piece I admit I enjoy the most. And the dividends are enormous. Since the beginning of December, I've had a few conversations with different teens and other young adults about where they see themselves going, about their needs, about how I might be able to help them, or not. And most common response is: 'Thank you for being there - which to me is so amazing. To them, the fact that someone takes time to listen to them, to chat with them, to trouble-shoot with them, is the most important. That I can try to help find solutions to the problems or challenges is almost secondary.
If you would have told me five years ago, that I'd be mentoring these young folks, that I would love this as much as I do, I probably would have looked at you dumbfounded. I had no idea then. And, it is only because one person had enough faith in me to try this project, that I even figured that out.
It just so happens that that one person was also my mentor.