Lately, I've given into lots of reminiscing. On a recent day, I was thinking about birthdays. Not my own, but of others'. With the youth, I've always thought celebrating birthdays was important. It is the one day that you get to really focus in on the one person - on making sure that person feels needed, loved, cared about...
When I was younger, I don't think they mattered much to me - birthdays, that is. I've never been one to advertise my own, though I do enjoy having a few friends over just to enjoy some time together.
But it was by celebrating someone else's that I first realized how powerful celebrating someone else's life could be.
It was early December 2001. My friend Kathy and I had been in Mumbai, India for just about two weeks. We weren't there as tourists. We were there to learn, to share and to get to know people. I'd taken a two month sabbatical from a job that just didn't pull at my heart-strings. Kathy had taken 3 weeks to start off the experience with me. If you asked my dad what I was doing, or where I was going, he would have said (and proudly, most preferably at church) "She's going to volunteer in a brothel in India." Yeah, he liked to make it sound kind of racey!
The truth was, Kathy and I had been volunteering with a non-profit in DC that provided services to women, men and children who worked the streets. We loved the outreach - we loved the people, and we were pretty good listeners. We laughed, we cried, we handed out condoms. Then, at my day job, my boss had gotten to know a young woman who had just made a documentary on the selling of girls in Nepal, who were then trafficked into sex work in Mumbai. I got to know Ruchi, and one random day, asked how I might be able to help.
Ruchi had just begun a drop-in center-like place just out side of the red-light district in Mumbai, and said it would be great if I wanted to travel there for a month or two to get to know the women there. I jumped at the chance and Kathy tagged along (she later told me she never thought I'd really go through with it, but was glad I did). It turned out to be one of the most impressionable experiences of my life.
Anyway, yes, I know - I was talking about birthdays.
You see, the people we met there, were amazing. They had nothing, but would give us the shirts of their backs, if they could. They invited us to their World AIDS Day celebration, just a few days after we got there. Kathy and I went. It was after this that the woman, who led us by the hand into the crowded theater where the celebration was taking place (we'll call her Suri), told us her birthday was a few days away.
Well, Kathy and I decided to get her a cake and oranges or something like that What did we know, we weren't sure what the etiquette said, but wanted to acknowledge that it was her birthday. To be honest, I don't remember much about the birthday celebration (except for Suri's smile).
What I remember is that 2 months later, when I was saying my last tearful goodbyes, as everyone who worked at the Centre said a few words about our time together, that Suri said, through her tears, that this past birthday had been the first that anyone had celebrated for her. I'd been clueless as to what that one small little thing had meant to her. But her response to it has stayed with me all these years.
And so we started a tradition. I knew when everyone's birthday was, and for the next few years, as the Centre continued to exist like I knew it, I would call on everyone's birthday. It wasn't a big group, just 3 or 4 women. And the calls were probably pretty funny, since they didn't speak much English, and my Hindi is even less existent, but they were times to say "Happy Birthday, I love you and I miss you."
Suri and most of the other women I knew there have passed away. But one remains. And every year, on her birthday, I call her. She doesn't work for the Centre any more, where she was a social worker. And there have been years when I didn't know how to get in touch with her. But I do now - and she knows how to get in touch with me. And each, on the other's birthday, makes that call across all those miles.
But the tradition continues...now the youth are the recipients of this tradition. They've come to expect it - even putting cake requests in ahead of time.
A birthday is an excellent reason to give someone a very special warm fuzzy just for them. And an awesome day to remember those who can't get their warm fuzzies in person. I wonder whether Suri knows how important her legacy is...
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Culture & How to Use it Against Them
Honoring our youth is really an international issue - and in some places, it is an imperative. I've just finished reading "Culture is our Weapon" by Patrick Neate and Damian Platt. This is an account of the work of the NGO AfroReggae in the favelas of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. The favelas are the areas of the city, the neighborhoods in the hills, where most of the poorer residents of Rio live.
I've been to Rio twice, once last summer, and once 10.5 years ago. Both times, I visited a favela - two different ones. The first time, it was one of Rio's most well-known and biggest favelas, and our tour-guide was a resident of that favela. Last year, it felt much more like a tourist attraction - our guide was a Frenchman who had recently settled in Rio. Most of the people we saw were the electricians sent by the national grid to install electric boxes so that residents could get 'official' electricity. Clearly, there were many improvements - from the new cement steps to the painted and re-novated homes. And then there was the 'spot' where Michael Jackson recorded one of his videos. Ten years ago, 'favela tours' were new - and apparently rare. My friend and I were incredibly grateful to Ricco, our guide. Last year, I felt like I was watching a show.
Truth be told, I've been intrigued by the favelas since my first visit, and have watched many of the most well known movies and documentaries on the topic - City of God, Favela Rising, City of Men.
Why intrigued? For many of the reasons that "Culture is Our Weapon" lays out - these neighborhoods, which are not even legal, are full of life, yet full of violence. There are tons of children, yet very few, if any, schools. There are few jobs, but lots of opportunities for o trafico (the criminal sphere, including the drug trafficking). There is lots of culture, yet factions ruling many areas. All these contradictions. All the confusion.
But Culture is our Weapon gives hope. AfroReggae lures the kids, the young traffickers (and sometimes even the older ones) away from the criminality - and tries to capitalise on their creativity - on their ability to make their energy into something good, something positive. AfroReggae isn't just about music -it is about giving young people the tools they need to do well - whether it is a dance class, a computer lesson or any one of a number of other programs. It isn't about one size fits all - it changes depending on the favela the programming is setting up shop in (there are over 500 favelas in Rio).
It builds on relationships and partnerships between the leaders of AfroReggae and residents of the different favelas. Each AfroReggae chapter has a coordinator, and is set up to meet the needs of the particular community. It sometimes takes a couple of years for a program to really take off - without the buy-in of the community, it would be nothing.
Sure, AfroReggae has a leader - or a couple of leaders. But, in addition to bringing the news of AfroReggae around the world, they empower the local favela coordinators - the residents of the favela, the people who WANT something else, something better, something more.
In the end, it is about saving lives. The lives of the children of the favelas, who are left behind by the 'official' world, the children who, before AfroReggae, seemed to have less of a chance of making it into adulthood than that frog crossing the highway. It is about meeting the needs of a group of people - to help them make a difference in their lives, to give them the option to NOT get involved in the drugs or violence.
AfroReggae is working on becoming self-sufficient and restructuring. From what I can tell, about two-thirds of those who join AfroReggae stay away from o trafico, and stay in AfroReggae.
I find it hopeful. I find it creative. And I really loved reading about it.
But most of all, it was so important to know that objects aren't always what they seem. And tourism is sometimes just a show. But digging deeper, in many ways, brings more hope and a much better understanding.
If you ever have the chance to go to Rio, I recommend it - it is a fascinating city. In the meantime, pick up Culture is Our Weapon it is a fascinating read (and as a side note, it was a gift from my mom, who is eagerly waiting to read it herself).
I've been to Rio twice, once last summer, and once 10.5 years ago. Both times, I visited a favela - two different ones. The first time, it was one of Rio's most well-known and biggest favelas, and our tour-guide was a resident of that favela. Last year, it felt much more like a tourist attraction - our guide was a Frenchman who had recently settled in Rio. Most of the people we saw were the electricians sent by the national grid to install electric boxes so that residents could get 'official' electricity. Clearly, there were many improvements - from the new cement steps to the painted and re-novated homes. And then there was the 'spot' where Michael Jackson recorded one of his videos. Ten years ago, 'favela tours' were new - and apparently rare. My friend and I were incredibly grateful to Ricco, our guide. Last year, I felt like I was watching a show.
Truth be told, I've been intrigued by the favelas since my first visit, and have watched many of the most well known movies and documentaries on the topic - City of God, Favela Rising, City of Men.
Why intrigued? For many of the reasons that "Culture is Our Weapon" lays out - these neighborhoods, which are not even legal, are full of life, yet full of violence. There are tons of children, yet very few, if any, schools. There are few jobs, but lots of opportunities for o trafico (the criminal sphere, including the drug trafficking). There is lots of culture, yet factions ruling many areas. All these contradictions. All the confusion.
But Culture is our Weapon gives hope. AfroReggae lures the kids, the young traffickers (and sometimes even the older ones) away from the criminality - and tries to capitalise on their creativity - on their ability to make their energy into something good, something positive. AfroReggae isn't just about music -it is about giving young people the tools they need to do well - whether it is a dance class, a computer lesson or any one of a number of other programs. It isn't about one size fits all - it changes depending on the favela the programming is setting up shop in (there are over 500 favelas in Rio).
It builds on relationships and partnerships between the leaders of AfroReggae and residents of the different favelas. Each AfroReggae chapter has a coordinator, and is set up to meet the needs of the particular community. It sometimes takes a couple of years for a program to really take off - without the buy-in of the community, it would be nothing.
Sure, AfroReggae has a leader - or a couple of leaders. But, in addition to bringing the news of AfroReggae around the world, they empower the local favela coordinators - the residents of the favela, the people who WANT something else, something better, something more.
In the end, it is about saving lives. The lives of the children of the favelas, who are left behind by the 'official' world, the children who, before AfroReggae, seemed to have less of a chance of making it into adulthood than that frog crossing the highway. It is about meeting the needs of a group of people - to help them make a difference in their lives, to give them the option to NOT get involved in the drugs or violence.
AfroReggae is working on becoming self-sufficient and restructuring. From what I can tell, about two-thirds of those who join AfroReggae stay away from o trafico, and stay in AfroReggae.
I find it hopeful. I find it creative. And I really loved reading about it.
But most of all, it was so important to know that objects aren't always what they seem. And tourism is sometimes just a show. But digging deeper, in many ways, brings more hope and a much better understanding.
If you ever have the chance to go to Rio, I recommend it - it is a fascinating city. In the meantime, pick up Culture is Our Weapon it is a fascinating read (and as a side note, it was a gift from my mom, who is eagerly waiting to read it herself).
Monday, April 12, 2010
Growing
As I sit here at my desk, and look out of my window, I can't help but notice the new buds on the trees, the sprinkling of pollen, the sun being out (and being out longer) and hearing the voices and giggles of children playing outside carry in through that open window.
It is a time of rebirth, a time of newness, but also means the arrival of allergies and asthma, brought on by all those signs of spring.
It made me think that sometimes even growth can be hard. I like to pitch growth as a wonderful aspect of life, and a great opportunity for newness and new opportunities. But sometimes, it is really hard to look past the immediate challenges it brings on.
Just thinking about it makes me shudder. Remember when your dad would tell you "It builds character" (UGH!) or someone tells you "If it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger" (OUCH!). Sometimes, looking at the bright side just doesn't cut it. Or what if that bright side isn't really what I was hoping for?
In the past few months, the growth of the group has both inhibited it, and sparked new change. But these seem to be changes that we are all struggling with. We grew because of our success. But now that growth is hampering us.
In a few weeks, the majority of the youth will be graduating from high school. But, because of any one of a number of things, our success is leaving us very short on new youth to carry the torch. We're trying to recruit, but perhaps we're too intimidating. Some of the youth who aren't graduating have kind of grown beyond the group - they've gotten what they need on Tuesday nights, and are now feeding their appetites in other ways - whether through music, sports or jobs.
I harbor the youth no illwill for this - in fact I completely understand it. Sometimes, when you're given the opportunity to grow, you have to take it, even if it means hampering someone else. The growth of the youth is just like the pollen - great in and of itself, but for some, it leaves a nasty allergic reaction. Their growth has left a void in the group - it has left us short-handed.
But I know that youth groups go through change, ebb and flow, get bigger and then smaller.
This growth spurt, too, shall pass. Let's just hope our budding flowers drop seeds for next year's buds.
It is a time of rebirth, a time of newness, but also means the arrival of allergies and asthma, brought on by all those signs of spring.
It made me think that sometimes even growth can be hard. I like to pitch growth as a wonderful aspect of life, and a great opportunity for newness and new opportunities. But sometimes, it is really hard to look past the immediate challenges it brings on.
Just thinking about it makes me shudder. Remember when your dad would tell you "It builds character" (UGH!) or someone tells you "If it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger" (OUCH!). Sometimes, looking at the bright side just doesn't cut it. Or what if that bright side isn't really what I was hoping for?
In the past few months, the growth of the group has both inhibited it, and sparked new change. But these seem to be changes that we are all struggling with. We grew because of our success. But now that growth is hampering us.
In a few weeks, the majority of the youth will be graduating from high school. But, because of any one of a number of things, our success is leaving us very short on new youth to carry the torch. We're trying to recruit, but perhaps we're too intimidating. Some of the youth who aren't graduating have kind of grown beyond the group - they've gotten what they need on Tuesday nights, and are now feeding their appetites in other ways - whether through music, sports or jobs.
I harbor the youth no illwill for this - in fact I completely understand it. Sometimes, when you're given the opportunity to grow, you have to take it, even if it means hampering someone else. The growth of the youth is just like the pollen - great in and of itself, but for some, it leaves a nasty allergic reaction. Their growth has left a void in the group - it has left us short-handed.
But I know that youth groups go through change, ebb and flow, get bigger and then smaller.
This growth spurt, too, shall pass. Let's just hope our budding flowers drop seeds for next year's buds.
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